It’s been a day of preaching to myself.
In all honesty, it’s been a day of emotions battling rational thought…and there have been moments of victory on each side.
Tears have taken me by surprise, and as I’ve tried to fathom the reason, steady calmness has often surfaced despite myself. That recurrent calm has definitely been sustained by angsty prayers articulated, conversation with an old friend and the anchoring of my wonderful husband.
There’s no great drama to report. Life carries on much as it has for the last six months. And that is probably the emotional crunch. Jonathan hits the road tomorrow, and the next few weeks see various trips, in pursuit of opportunity in various guises. And I’m all in favour.
But we’re staying here. Doing the same thing, doing much of that ‘thing’ at home and it feels mundane. The horizon has been flattened by Covid, as visits are cancelled and anything organised or official is postponed. I’m so grateful for slackening restrictions that mean we can see people, while also frustrated that I can’t do all that I’d like. I’m thankful for all that we have, objectively I’m privileged and cannot complain. And yet my heart is bucking against the rational realities, and the repetitiveness of current times. I know it’s a season. It will pass. But there’s still the here and now with which to wrangle and wrestle.
The ‘preach’ (speaking the truth I know to myself) resonates with hope beyond current circumstances. Bringing glory to God, honouring Him in everything, happens in the mundane as much as the majestic. Drama and adventure don’t guarantee godliness, and we’re called to be faithful in the here and now. Repetitive, restricted, riding the moods of little people but a harvest-field for glory. Glory for God, as I live for Him in the hidden moments, the private exchanges with my children, and in the wrestling, restlessness of my heart.
It matters because there’s more to this than what I see around me. As soon as God enters the equation, we are talking eternal, everlasting and ever-expanding. And the mundane can become glorious. Glorious because it’s weighed not according to circumstantial ripples but eternal, heart-anchored God-focused living.
Praying on that I would be content in the mundane, and that my everyday would give God the glory.