The unknowns of the coming months are challenging.
While we’re gathering, formulating and filing all that is needed for our visa application as quickly as possible, it feels like things are going slowly. We would love to have an answer now. A conclusion. Some certainty.
But instead, we wait.
For at least a couple of months. It’s really not very long, and yet it feels like an age. It’s tempting to put everything on hold, and just look to that future point when we will know whether we can get back to the States or not. Let the days meander on, getting through them until we have an answer.
Rufus’ sense of time in the morning – in fact any time of day – rarely tallies with the clock.
‘Is it awake time yet, Daddy?’ he says as he pushes our door open and tugs at the duvet. He’s sometimes right, but often wrong and is sent back to bed to wait until the stars have disappeared on his clock.
Sometimes, we’ll hear the door open just moments later and the exchange is repeated but with incredulous disbelief as we say it’s still not time. He can’t believe that time is going so slowly, and he has to wait for his breakfast. We suggest that he goes back to sleep or plays with his toys to fill the time, but all he can think about is that bowl of cereal soon to be in front of him.
Our visa outcome can feel a bit like Rufus and his breakfast. And it’s sometimes tempting to tread water until then – letting time meander on without much of anything going on.
A couple of friends and I are trying to meet up every couple of weeks to dig into the Bible together, and pray. Delicately timed to ensure at least a couple of little people are asleep, we catch up, share a bit of life and enjoy listening to God through His word, letting Him be heard amidst the busyness of mum-ing.
It’s Philippians, a New Testament letter, that’s feeding us at the moment and it’s opening prayer has been challenging my static waiting. Paul prays that the readers’ love for Jesus would:
‘abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blamelesss for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
I pray that in this waiting, I would ‘abound’ in love for Jesus and so be bearing fruit – actively and intentionally doing life to honour Him. The big God of Job (mentioned in my last post) is known through Jesus. So as I know and love Jesus, so I am letting God – the one who established all things – be involved and at work in my daily life. Even bearing fruit and bringing about good things as we wait.
Not much treading water going on in that. The thought gets me excited for what He might be doing in these seemingly ambling days.