We made it.
The bookseller is back from his travels, and life is beginning to get back on an even keel. My emotions have yet to settle, but they’re often the last to fall in line as we readjust to stable normality of having our man back in the building.
Having started with a mouse-flavoured lows on Monday morning (as you may have read in the last post), we didn’t hit those depths again and definitely reached some highs.
The ups came with kind people giving us time, sharing our mealtimes and inviting us into their homes. Sunshine, park times, playdates, and particularly being surprised by making a new friend amidst it all.
There were some downs along the way – mainly grouped around day four, which is always the hardest day when Jonathan is away. We don’t often do more than three or four days apart, and, for some reason, it’s when we hit four days that emotion and exhaustion kick in.
This time we hit it with a literal jolt as Billy fell out of the buggy, resulting in a scraped face. A moment that was exacerbated by being on the side of a busy road and having at least another ten minutes to walk with two crying boys. Thankfully, there was no serious damage. This same twenty four hours brought a sleepless night followed by a friend having to rush her baby to hospital within a few minutes of us arriving at their house the next morning. Thankfully, the baby is fine.
Amidst the drama of day four, I found myself looking after that friend’s two year old and then cooking for a student that evening. It was in those moments that we began to climb up out of the ‘down’. It was when it stopped being about me and started being about others that things go better. Self-pity had snuck in through the tiredness, tears and drama, and begun to make itself at home in my heart.
While I’m sure self-pity will return, especially when Jonathan is away, it was a good reminder to look beyond my own circumstances. To look out rather than in.
In the meantime, we love having Jonathan back. We’re glad the week is done. It just makes more sense when we’re all in the same place.