Flights booked, house being sold, accommodation found and the diary filling up with book business…but no visa as yet.
In faith, or maybe foolishness, we’ve mapped out our American move, and even taken it from paper to reality. Money, time and energy have been invested. And so we pray on that we’ll be granted a visa.
And we wait.
We agonisingly, while second guessing every possible outcome, wait for Homeland Security to give their verdict as to whether we’ll be allowed into the Home of the Brave.
As the days tick by and time-differenced American days end, tension increases. Restless nights see us second guessing every possible outcome. We wonder if we’ve made an enormous mistake.
But in the midst of the agonising wait, and the limbo of not knowing, I think we’ve been learning – and telling each other – to trust God. I’m not sure we’re the quickest learners, but gradually it’s sinking in. We’re learning to trust our good God.
To trust the one who’s never late. To trust the one who’s timing is perfect because it’s His glorious plan that’s being worked out. To trust the one who’s our refuge, our rock, our shelter out of the storm, our loving Father, our redeemer. To trust the one who’s had our paths from before the beginning of time and so has us now and will not let our feet slip. To trust the one who knows what’s around the corner, even as we hesitate at our international crossroads. To trust the one to whom we can pray. To trust the one who knows us and loves us and is at work for His glory in us and through us. To trust the one who is patient while we chafe and impatiently angst about the way things seem to be going. To trust our good God.
It’s that post-lunch slot when my boys are sleeping that seems to breed the panic. I feel the anxiety bubbling up and the tension grow as I consider our situation. If only my emotions were as steady as the previous paragraph of truths that calmly queue up behind each other.
And so I pray that I – that we – would be able to trust God with our coming days, weeks and months more and more. I pray that that we would be pray-ers who know we’re dependent on Him above all else.
Maybe this is just what we need at the start of this stateside adventure. As we launch out in faith – moving our family and our life to Illinois – maybe God is training us, teaching us, growing us. Training us in trusting Him. Teaching us to wait on Him and no-one and nothing else. Growing us in our knowledge of Him as we run to Him, pray to Him, come back to Him while battling panic.
‘And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.’ (Ps 9v10)